Due to my own lack of maturity the things that I used to do for my betterment kept on giving me opposing results. Now the situation is that I am homeless. Nor do I have any savings. Rather I am highly under debt.
(T, J)
Respected Hakeem Sahib, Assalam-o-alaikum! Most respectfully I beg to state that it has been 18 years that I got married. And Allah Almighty bestowed us with 3 children. I am very thankful to Him Almighty for this. But one thing that is a sign of a lively martial life is missing. Because I used to read film magazines, the time I should have spent with the family, I kept on wasting that in such useless activities. These moral illnesses gradually make a person mentally ill and irritable. All this is the matter with me too. After the marriage I used to talk about weird things to my wife even though she was very simple. The result was perpetual tension. Psychologically, we kept on getting aloof from each other. Meaning that psychologically and due to my own ego I never used to tell her about anything about what I really wanted. And due to this we had to bear spiritual, physical and financial losses. You can conveniently conceive this. Due to my immaturity the things that I used to do for my benefit, kept on giving negative results. Now the situation is that neither do I have a home, nor do I have any savings, and my business also collapsed. On the contrary, I am highly under debt, and that too is around Rs. 500,000. Now the total belongings I have are my wife and children. After getting attached with Ubqari, I did a few deeds and repented to Allah and Allah showed me a path. I am thankful to Him the most merciful for this. I want to make my family life happy and lively. And I want that my children become Allah abiding. I want that the sins and the mistakes that I committed, my children not be punished for that. My future generations be affluent. And that on the day of judgment I can be proud of my children. And that my children do not become disobedient to the prophet of Allah (may Allah’s peace be upon him).
1.1 The Terrible End of a Person Who Ruined a Family
(Qaari Kaleem-ullah Ajmal Athaara, Hazaari)
We have been listening from the elders that a person who digs a whole for another person, falls in that whole himself. The person who seeks ill of others cannot be happy himself. But a person understands these things when a person experiences himself.
Our one close relative who got married in his own family, Allah almighty bestowed him with blessing of children. He had his own house, own business, so much so that Allah had given him every blessing of the world. Life was running a nice course. Human-beings are greedy by nature. A person who has his own small house, wants a bigger more concrete house. The person who has a big house, yearns for an even bigger and stronger one. And so on and so forth. The person who owns a cycle wants a car. Owner of a car wants a bigger vehicle. And so on and so forth.
Thus, only the sand of the grave can fill a person’s stomach to satisfaction, if at all. That person fell in love with a girl who lived in his neighborhood. But when he used to look at his house, he would see half a dozen children, wife, their expenditures. When he used to see these things, the program for his marriage used to get delayed.
At last he consulted one of his cousins who belonged to a very rich family, and was an owner of huge property. His cousin suggested that his family would oppose the idea of a second marriage. And suggested that he should quietly go and do a court marriage. And to divorce his first wife after that.
He acted upon the suggestion of his cousin and performed court marriage. And his cousin bore all the expenditures of the court marriage. After a few days of marriage he cast a horrible aspersion on his first wife and divorced her. He snatched the children from her and kicked her out of the house. While leaving the house the wife held prayed for her that Allah will always keep you destitute and that He will ruin you, such as you have ruined me. There are only a few moments for acceptance of prayer and Allah does not delay the acceptance of prayer of an oppressed person. Allah listened to the prayers of that oppressed woman. And then what, at once his business came to an end. He became destitute. In order to earn money he applied for a visa of a foreign country and went there.
Innocent children who were already deprived of their mother, now became deprived of paternal love too. A long time has passed since his second marriage but he still does not have any kids from her. Today, where his first wife is shedding tears due to her separation from her kids, the second wife is crying because she does not have any kids. And not only this, the cousin on whose suggestion he got married with his second wife and divorced the first. That cousin’s sister got married in a wealthy and a well off family. Wedding took place in a very extravagant manner. A lot of dowry was given to the sister. But that marriage proved to be nest woven on a delicate branch. She got divorced after only a few months of her marriage. And his husband got married again. And like this someone who ruined someone else’s house ended up in a ruined family for themselves.
Alaas! that before wishing ill to someone and breaking someone’s heart that we also have a heart in our chest. And if someone else should wish ill for us and do bad to us, how much tormented we would be. Alaas! That we understand this.
